Dogs are such wonderful creatures. Every time I pull in the driveway, they are so excited to see me. They waste no time in running up to my door, standing there aquiver, tails thundering, just begging for me to notice them. All they want is for me to bestow a little attention upon them. I can make their entire day with a simple touch. In that moment, I am their god, I am the only thing that matters.
But eventually, the newness of my homecoming wears off, and they wander off to do their own thing. I don't even know where Kody and Tinkerbell are right now. However, Keai, my boy, he follows me around the house. I will sit down on the couch and typically in a short period of time, he will find his way to me, lying either on the floor, or perhaps in the hallway, or sometimes just on the other side of the door, on my bed, but always he is near. When I get up, he will wait to see if I come back, but if I do not, he will trundle up the stairs to find me again, and if I am sitting, he will lay down once more.
He desires nothing from me; he does not want food, he does not pester me for attention. It is enough for him simply to be near me, to be in my presence, breathing my smell, hearing my breathing. He just wants to be near me. Some people say that animals don't feel love, that they seek only what is comfortable and familiar, and the nearness of a pack, letting instinct drive them. I think I disagree, but even if I am wrong, they still personify the practice of love, don't they?
How often do I come to God's presence just for the sake of being near Him? Whenever I come to Him, it is always with requests, to seek guidance, or healing from my pain. Often enough, those prayers are for others, but even so, I sit and badger Him. It is never enough to simply be near my God and Savior.
I don't love Him for who He is...I love Him for what He has done for me, yes, but also for what He can do for me.
Ouch. That realization stings a little...a lot.
How is it that I can abandon my dog for hours, the majority of the day, and yet when I come home, he bears no grudge, he holds no ill will, he is simply grateful to have me now. Why is it that he is so devoted to me, fickle and human as I am? I do little for him. Most of the time I am not even the one who brings him his food, and yet he wants me. When I lived in Dickinson, and was gone for a week or more at any given time, I would come home and he would nearly fall to pieces. The only time I remember him ever blatantly disobeying a direct command was when I told him to stay--he would not listen, and instead piled into my car through my open door and into the lap of my friend who was sitting in the passenger seat. He did not want me to leave without him. He was desperate for me.
Do I show the same desperation for Jesus? I do little for my dog, yet all he wants is me. Why is it that, after everything My Lord has done for me, I don't desire to be near him every minute of every hour of every day? Why do I settle for a hurried quiet time in the morning before I scurry off to school, and how is it that I can go the rest of the day without once thinking about Him?
And even when I return to the fold, I tend to edge in cautiously, instead of flinging myself into His presence with ecstasy. Or sometimes I do, and I am excited for a moment, and then, when the moment has passed, the shiny newness faded, I wander off again, much like Kody, or Tinkerbell. "Well, it was exciting that you got home, and I really wanted you to pet me, but now that's over and done, I think I'm going to go find a place to sleep." This is their mentality, but is it mine?
May it never be, and yet it is. Why is it not enough for me to simply be in the presence of my Savior? Why can I not make time for Him, and why is it that when I do, I always expect something?
Don't get me wrong, God loves to do things for us. His heart is to serve us, to better us, to give us good things. But how much pleasure would it give my Father if I came into His presence simply for the joy of being near Him? Yes, I love doing things for my dog. I love to pet him, and to engage in games of tug-o-war, but how much good does it do my heart to see him laying on that rug simply because I am here?
May I learn to lay aside the trivial things, and to be content to merely be in the presence of the God of the Universe.
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